Chicago Gluttons - Chicago Restaurant Review & Obsession

I love meat . . . I know it’s selfish and that we could probably alleviate the most detrimental effects of global warming by not eating it. But when calculating my global footprint & corresponding action plan, I resign to the fact that to me, the deliciousness of a bone-in-ribeye supercedes the fate of humankind (don’t judge me!). That being said, I’d like to talk to you about Drake Bros, and the night I got to get all “dawn of the dead” in a fancy restaurant. But first a message from our bovine sponsors:

Don’t hate on us. It’s not our fault you are so delicious. (big ups to jesus!)

There had been this rumor going around that steaks were buy one at regular price and get a second for a penny on Tuesdays at The Drake Hotel. I figured that this was a good opportunity to get my culinary Snopes on and clear this one up for the masses. Let’s eat some meat, for science.

The meal started with a series of appetizers. This was a visually pleasing but not so delicious crab cake:

Show me delicious . . .

Pretty isn’t it? Buy the t-shirt, and eat something else.

The steaks were 9/10, though if I was paying full price the rating would quickly drop to a respectable 7/10.

Lets take a look at these beauties:

I keep this photo in my wallet

Straight up carnage.

You’re probably thinking, what’s that shit on the top of your steak Roy? That’s “Drake Crust” . . and let my friend Cancer Boy tell you about it’s composition:

That’s right! Good ole’ bone marrow. Not to offend all your marrow-heads out there, but I ended up scraping most of it off. It tasted very biological to me, like it should have been served out of a petri-dish. I’m sure it’s delicious though if you are into that sort of thing. I just didn’t know how I felt about marrow. You learn something new about yourself everyday.

The side dishes are what really stole the show. I thought about dedicating this entire post to the ridiculously delicious chipotle corn. Dios mio. I couldn’t stuff enough of this shit down my gullet. I made sure I had a few kernels on every fork that went in my mouth.

Check it out:

I considered garnishing my martini with a kernel or 2 or maybe firing up the ol’ corn bong:

Corn! Corn! Corn!

The second most delicious side dish was the truffle scalloped potatoes. Very creamy, and just the right amount of truffle flavor. Food is delicious.

I’ve never wished I was a spoon more in my life.

The meal ended with a series of retardo desserts, coffee and me ordering a stomach pump on the internet

Delicious blueberry something.

I get chocolate with my coffee, this makes me feel important.

The verdict:

Drake Bros is a great place for broke motherfuckers like us to go and pretend we’re like Thurston Howell III and shit. Playa playa!

“That’s some good corn!”

• Name: Drake Bros. Steakhouse
• Where: 140 East Walton Place Chicago, IL 60611
•  Phone Number: (312) 787-2200

Have you ever had great sushi? I know the majority of those who have lived through the eighties and nineties have at least sampled a piece during the Chicago sushi boom. You’ve had to be living under a rock (or been on a deep space mission) if you are still a sushi virgin. But then again, have you ever had great sushi? I am talking about fresh fish, fresh flavors, and a smack of “holy crap that was awesome sushi”.

Well if you have not been lucky enough to have this experience or think you have had it, if you haven’t have Hama Matsu then I challenge you to rethink. I bet most of you have been eating fish freshly out of a jock strap, but its not your fault, you just don’t know any better or have anything to compare it too. It like drinking Milwaukee’s Best all through college and then getting your first taste Bell’s beer, Delirium Tremens, or any fine ale. You think to your self, why did I waste all that time? How could I have abused my self so?

Let’s start with the ambiance, it is quaint and relaxing, you could find Jazz or good old Mr. Sinatra spinning in the CD player. Subtle Japanese décor helps make Hama Matsu feel warm and inviting, with the capacity to fit only forty people, you don’t have to worry about a loud buzz to have a great conversation.

Plus, if you can find a more creative sushi chef in the Chicago, let me know. First of all, a female sushi chef is a diamond in the rough, but to find some one who is willing to push the art of maki making to a whole new level is like finding the crown jewels. Bang, makes her own sauces which line up behind the sushi counter, she prepares her own mackerel, and cuts all the fish at Hama Matsu, so you know its done right. The stuff on the menu is great, but if you can get to know Bang and Jason behind the counter, you can get unique creations that will make you give up your crack addition and eat sushi instead.

On to the food, the menu has a wide selection, you can chose from Korean or Japanese designs, while I was at Hama Matsu spending a night with my friends who are the multi-ethnic (4 to be exact) interracial couple of the year, we had a little bit of both to celebrate their diversity. We started with a traditional kalbi, beef short ribs served on a sizzling platter. Damn, you will want every last piece of flavor right down to marrow out of the bone, so don’t say I didn’t warn you, not to be advised for eating on a first date.

Maki (rolls) are very creative a full of flavor and very artistic in presentation. We had a roll with shrimp tempura and it was a piece of art that I really can’t describe, but look at the picture above, it is more intricate than a Rubix cube. We also ate what appeared to be a dragon or maybe an anteater, but it sure look like it could be alive, filled with squid and fish roe, perfect sweet and salty combo. Our third roll was a spicy tuna roll, but not your traditional looking spicy tuna maki, think pieces of tuna drizzled with a spicy mayonnaise mixture will help you imagine the possibilities of what is ordinary.

Sashimi, to top everything of for a refreshing finish, we got a specially prepared thin slice sashimi combo, tuna, salmon, flounder, mackerel, so fresh I swear it was still moving. Not picture was the Mochi-Ice cream we had for desert, mango, peach, and greet tea ice cream wrap in a thin layer of dough. So after unbuttoning my pants and smoking ten cigarettes, I am able to write this.

In summary, if you have been living a life of bland, crappy, uninventive sushi eating, continue to do so if you don’t want a profound change. This place will change how you look at sushi in general, you find your self, comparing everything, and the world of eating will not be so easy anymore. Your palate will reject badly cut fish, your eyes will reject looking at placard sushi, your nose will ignore the ordinary aromas, and your mouth will poo poo things that don’t make the grade. You will eat sushi after that does not cut the grade and after Hama Matsu you will know it and feel the pains of guilt run through your conscience for subjecting your body to an inferior product. If you continue to eat bad sushi after eating Hama Matsu you may as well order up the McRib at McDs and really be self-destructive. So if you are not ready, stay ignorant and keep your bliss. Don’t say I did not warn you!!!!!

• Name: Hama Matsu
• Where: 5143 N Clark St Chicago, IL 60640
•  Phone Number: (773) 506-2978

We Gluttons have been trying to make luscious food love with our Laotian family for a minute now. Yessir, I’m talking bout Sabai-Dee.

Laotian cuisine is known for its heavy use of garlic, shallots, scallions and ginger. As the country spent time as a member of French Indochina, their portfolio exudes a culinary hodgepodge of its Chinese, Malaysian, Thai and Indian neighbors.

Thank Jah (or Budda, I guess) for the setup of this joint: Cafeteria style. You just eyeball, point and select.

For a mental image, think a Laotion Old Country Buffet…

The proprietors suggested “The Combo” for the absurd price of $3.99, which includes a choice of heaping spoonfulls of Lo Mien or Fried Rice as well as two selections from the buffet which is about 12 items deep. We meandered our way down the double pained window; ole Ma (pictured below, on right) acted as an South East Asian Godmother; cocking her head slightly left and nodding approval as we pointed to her faves.

In the end, we went with the basil chicken, green beans with mushrooms in soy/fish sauce, green curry (with chicken and chinese eggplant), and sweet/sour chicken (all pictured below).

Taking gold was the basil chicken…mildly spicy, robust and undisputably the dish that would bring us back many times over. If you feel like gettin buck, order the sommuu which is a spicy pickled pork sausage. Or how bout the pa lo, a blend of savory tofu and pork belly.

Mmmmm. Pork belly. If it wasn’t 11am, I would have been on some pa lo like white on rice.

Sabai-Dee is BYO which means you should stop by Jewel and scoop up a 5th of bourbon to spike the redockulous fresh fruit smoothies (no bubble=no tapioca). In sum, the spot is a respectable, bustling bidness with loyal diners from the meltingzone known as Edgewater. Ima be Sabaideezin like mad, so holla at me if you require a dinemate.

Note: you will exit Sabai-Dee smelling like a line cook from the orient. But no worries, just bring a bottle of Fabreez if you gotta roll back to the office.

• Name: Sabai Dee
• Where: 5359 N Broadway St Chicago, IL 60640
•  Phone Number: (773) 506-0880