Hello Glutton’s readers, naw we aint dead we’ve been trapped in the walk in freezer at the Long John Silver’s in Schaumburg. Television was right, it IS a great way to work out petty differences. I also learned that frozen hush puppies taste nearly the same.
Anyhoo, I got some shit that I recently stumbled upon that you ought to load into the ol’ crap factory.
Behold, the Moo Platter from Fountainhead.
Supposedly this platter is for sharing, though I’ve since fantasized about having one all to myself. Here’s what you get:
1. Some bunk ass, tasteless, sweet potato chips. You’d have to be high as hell to eat these things plain. Thank the lord there was something retardedly delicious to dip them in, which leads us to . . .
2. India Pale Ale Cheese scoop.
Now this shit is pungent and addictive. Honestly, it even made the aforementioned butt-scab of a chip taste heavenly. To make things better, you’re given an unmanageable portion, considering the amount of dipping devices provided. It’s like the scoop you get at Baskin’ Robbins when you got connections.
It was inevitable that we ran out of dipping supplies. I was forced to give the old cheese pile the stink finger.
3. Next up is the smoked mac & cheese, the exact opposite of what you get from a box of Kraft. They’re not kidding when they say smokey, it’s like they scraped a little camp fire into this mf. Pro Tip: Try mixing a little ale dip in this shit.
4. Finally, probably the greatest thing that I’ve put in my mouth since winter, Monkey Bread bitches.
I can’t put my finger on it, but this tastes like some sort of adult party appetizer i tried as a kid. Though this looks like a solid on the outside, the inside is a gooey, pudding like mess of pungent cheese and bacon. I didn’t eat the inside, I went down on it. If only they made a larger version, I’d spend the day wearing it around like a helmet. Yes. It’s that good.
Anyway, check out Fountainhead if you want some beers and are craving something new . . full review coming soon!