It’s All About the Glennjamins

0 Posted by - December 8, 2008 - Things We've Eaten

So the other Tuesday night, the ole’ ball n’ chain and I had a craving for decapod crustaceans.  And what better way to scratch that itch than to eat at Glenn’s Diner?  Why you ask?  Because it’s effing all you can eat Crab Legs night—that’s why! (not all you SHOULD eat, but all you CAN eat. There is a difference.) As soon as we sat down, we were greeted with this giant dish of deliciousness!

Before gorging my meal I said a silent thank you to the Lord of Fat Fuckery and then immediately asked myself, “How would internationally recognized and extremely famous martial arts superhero Steven Seagal eat crab legs?”

My adrenaline was pumped and I was inspired by images of Senor Esteban Seagal cracking some skeletons, so I aikido-ed the shit out of that crab leg.  There was no defense for this water arachnid. This was the result.

Make no mistake, my friends, I am no wimp!  I delivered fantastic damage to this Cloverfield-sized exoskeleton just so I could get that sweet meat within.


After about three of these baby arm-sized legs, I attempted to go to the bathroom to “make some room” for more crab meat (insert giant poo joke here).  When I returned to my seat I saw that this crab leg was making sweet, sweet love to the side of corn on the cob filler on my plate.

Insert 'crabs' joke here.

As you can imagine this G-rated family show quickly turned into a food porno worthy of yet another picture because I am not only a fat fuck but a sick fuck as well!

Get a room.

Go to Glenn’s!  It’s delicious, worth the money and my boyfriend still loves me after this restaurant visit.

I'm wearing my favorite hat.

Me wearing my favorite hat.

10 Comments

  • avatar
    Roy December 8, 2008 - 11:16 pm Reply

    i want a butter dish with this review.

  • avatar
    Curious December 9, 2008 - 3:11 pm Reply

    How much was it?

  • avatar
    joebuddy December 10, 2008 - 3:55 pm Reply
  • avatar
    Marilyn December 10, 2008 - 8:44 pm Reply

    If my recollection is correct I would say it was about $35 per person. Bring some moist towelettes and your own bib!

  • avatar
    Roy December 11, 2008 - 9:34 am Reply

    $33.95 per person. . you only get one leg at a time. My record is 6. . . and the 6th one brought me no pleasure.

  • avatar
    Rayfil Wong December 21, 2008 - 6:15 pm Reply

    Hi Alvin,

    Great blog.
    Keep writing.

    Your injection of humor provides great entertaining value!

    I would “tap” those crab legs.

  • avatar
    Big Boy Steve January 8, 2009 - 5:53 pm Reply

    WoW!!!! My girlfriend just called me from Michigan and she wants to fly in just for tuesday nite ex-crab-a ganza!!!! See you their!!!

  • avatar
    Big Boy Steve January 8, 2009 - 5:54 pm Reply

    thanks, steve

  • avatar
    Full Belly August 14, 2009 - 6:43 pm Reply

    There’s a place off of I55 south of Joliet called Gippers II and they have ALL YOU CAN EAT crab legs for $29.95. It’s a local joint with a huge bar, out door beer garden and off the beaten path local flare. It’s in Coal City but closer to Channahon. Definitely bring an appetite and you won’t be disappointed. First plate you get about 4 legs then 3 each plate afterwords with little wait in between.

  • avatar
    Victor Rod September 15, 2010 - 7:57 am Reply

    This place is totally awsome. Not only is it all you can eat crab legs it’s all you can eat “King Crab Legs” cooked to perfection. About $45.00 (This is just having water with you meal, cause you dont want to fill up on heavy drinks) including the tip per person gets you a meal to remember. Enjoy & Live, Love, Laugh. :-)

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