Dese kats loves it Sloppy

0 Posted by - August 8, 2007 - Things We've Eaten

This ish is bubonic!

Nuff said right?

Hey maine, there is a reason they call our Nation’s Capitol “The Dirty District.” After a brief jaunt from the Windy-C to see my parents in Washington, I took a 3am detour to one of the most famous restaurants in the U.S. of A…Ben’s Chili Bowl. The place has been frequented by Coogie sweater wearin Bill Cosby, big lipped Chris Tucker, and punk ass G. Dubs’ Bush Jr. and Sr.

I dig the decor of this place. Minimalist and straight grimey. Bruddas walk around in skull caps and doo rags to keep they waves tight. Miguel smokes discount cigarettes by the back do and watches tables get dirty.

My sister told me she wont go here any more as gentrification has swallowed the neighborhood whole…James Beard calls the spot, “American’s Classic.” Ben would proally say, “ni**a please.” Call it reverse racism, I suppose.

Rub yo hands like Mr. Miyagi and Chili will come out.

That’s enough about the history…lets get to the food. Ben’s is known for its “half-smokes” which is a cheaper, more gully take on the Vienna sausages we see in Chi-Tizz. I quickly order up a two half smokes with chili, cheese, mustard and hella onions (this is actually the ONLY way you should order them) to sop up the evenings vodka sodas. The dog is split in half and then grilled to the color of a Colombian mamacita. Ima give this beast a 6 outta 10. The meat was on point, but it needed some sport peppers or something…brudda needs spice; I guess I’m jaded. Nevertheless…the cheese sauce was bubonic and made me feel like I could rob three banks.

At the end of it all, I wash the dog down with some dank ass purple stuff that blew away K-Mart’s shit. Maybe I should have gone kamikaze and mixed all four flavors. Really dough, what the hell is that brown stuff cuz we all know it aint Iced Tea or Apple Juice!

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