Aaaaaannd . . we’re back.

Sorry about that little hiatus faithful readers, we were on a diet.   Now that I’ve widdled my man boobs down to a supple B-cup we can get back to business.  But wait.  I have to get something (else) off my chest.

Let me start with this video:

You see, before Chicago Gluttons was ChicagoGluttons.com, we had a small blogspot blog talking about delicious food on the north side.  The final post on that blog was about APART Pizza opening up it’s second branch literally steps from my apartment.  It was inspiring.  I had only had APART a few times in my life . . I knew that this was going to be life changing. . . and it was.

As time went on, the quality & service at the Edgewater location started to dwindle.  “It’s just growing pains”, I justified.  I would order every few months to see if things were back on track and was still generally disappointed with the pizza.  Maybe my standards have increased . . maybe I am just having bad luck . . I would never give up. . . you should never give up on the things that you love.

My last attempt was a few Sundays ago.  I was on my way back from the suburbs visiting my parents.  The Bears vs. Packers game was on Sunday night football and I was determined to get an ‘old school’ APART pizza . . something delicious and simple.  I had the apartment to myself, so I was ready to get nasty. I arrived at home and put on my pizza pants and hit up Grubhub.  (if you don’t know about grubhub, you had better wake the fuck up)

The game had started but I wasn’t ready.  I wasn’t going to watch a second of football without a mouthful of delicious thin crust pizza, I paused the DVR.  This was my destiny.  I deserve this.  An hour and a half later, the buzzer rang.  I paid the delivery driver + a healthy tip and ran up the stairs as if I was being chased.  I dropped the pizza box on the table and opened it up for a ‘preparation slice’.  (The slice you eat while you gather plates and choose a beverage)

To my dismay, the pizza that was delivered was not even close to what I wanted.

It was covered with shrimp and soggy with shrimp water.  It was the worst pizza in the entire world.

You couldn’t even hold a slice.  All structural integrity was compromised as the crust was soaked with shrimp / tomoato juice.  I could’ve drank it with a crazy straw.

I later called APART to tell them about the pizza and the woman on the phone sounded like a PMSing Rosie Perez.  She reluctantly offered me a free pizza coupon, but wasn’t willing to deliver a new one for the game.  I told her that I’d pass.  I ended up eating a few slices out of desperation, sans skrimp.

But when life give you lemons . . . you search for better pizza.

Stay tuned for part 2:  North Side Pizza: A New Hope.

Things We've Eaten