Fact: Fidel Castro has a beard and Cuban food is delicious.

Fellow Glutton, Rin Rin and I rolled up on this joint and were immediately greeted by the spicy sounds of Cuban music blaring from the speakers at the entrance. This was the type of music that brings out the Gloria Estefan in even the most Jeff Foxworthy-like cracka. In my opinion, good music is always a sign of good food.  It is Rin Rin’s opinion; however, that Gloria Estefan was holding back the Miami Sound Machine.

Immediately after stepping into this place we were welcomed by the owner and operator Senor Perez, which means “Mr. Perez” in Spanish. This hombre is serious about his food which showed in the quality of the dishes  because everything I ate made my taste buds duke it out for the last drop of flavor.  Here is the low down on the spread:

Senor Rey....That's Mr. Rey to all you gringos
Senor Rey- no relation to "Sweet Baby"

Senor Perez started us off on a cold winter’s night with some café con leche to help us warm up.  Now my scrawny ass and Chinese taste buds were indeed cold, but this is the best cup of coffee I have had since I started drinking coffee.  Rin Rin and I have agreed that we’d trade in Starbucks for daily coffee from this place.

Senor Perez started us off with the hard core.  We began the meal with a plate of spiced beef and shredded chicken. We’re not sure what magic flavors he put into this, maybe it was the magic of love, but we were blown away.  Being an admitted food snob I could have easily turned my nose at this, but when that flavor hit my lips I was hooked.

Immediately following the scrumptious plate of meats was a dish of an assortment of appetizers and that blew our minds.  The ham croquettas had the flavor of one thousand slices of Christmas ham compressed into a bite-sized morsel. This shit that was so good that I closed my eyes while chewing and imagined hi-fiving ole’ Fidel myself.  The red beans and rice was so good that Sir Mixalot would have been singing about how the carbs in this dish would give any “baby some back”. And let’s not forget the plantains–crispy on the outside soft on the inside (just like I like my women).  Need I say more?!?

We could have very easily been satisfied at this point but Senor Rey was unstoppable.  See, being Chinese I like to judge a Chinese restaurant on the basic dishes such as flied lice.  Well, the judgment of any good Cuban joint is in the Cuban sandwich. Ladies and gentleman, I shit you not when I say this is the best Cuban Sandwich I have had outside of Miami. Rin Rin’s never been to Miami so she had nothing to compare it to.  Suffice it to say, she Jenna Jamesoned the sandwich that was handed to her because it was so good.  Literally.  And it was kinda gross to watch, but the sandwich.  Oh the sandwich!  Crispy toasted bread, layers of ham, prosciutto, with some sort of secret spread all combined to form the ultimate sabor.  Sorry to my fellow gluttons, but I wanted to hide in the corner with this sandwich and……………….(censored).

Some very important things to remember.  When ordering this sandwich don’t forget to 1) ask for the special hot sauce, and 2) pay homage to the magic machine that seals in all the flavors. I don’t know if this thing has a name, but let’s call this The Boss of George Forman Grills. I would venture to say I would eat my hand if it was pressed in this machine and served with hot sauce.

All cannibalism aside there is still more. We were treated to a Cuban style tamale with the special hot sauce, a taste that would fuck your world up proper.  I only say this cause it sure did fuck mine up and I’ll spare you the details.  To be honest this is the first tamale I’ve eaten sober and one of the few times I have not bought it from Tamale Guy at the bar at 1:00a.m.  Tamale Guy is gonna need to learn a thing or two–seriously, Tamale Guy where you at!


To top the meal off, Senor Perez treated us to a guava and cream cheese pastry and a Cuban espresso to wash it all down. This dessert was so good that I could only describe it as orgasmic, I literally had to tell my fellow Gluttons to “shut the eff up and don’t touch me”.  I was fucking spent and done.

In closing if you want some awesome-ass Cuban food, you gotta go see Senor Perez.  He won’t disappoint and it could arguably be one of the best decisions you’ve made in the New Year!  Enjoy!

5 thoughts on “Con Sabor Cubano translation – Flava in ya mouth Cuban style”
  1. I gotta back this sandwich hype up. IMO, the sauce carries the sandwich . . without the sauce you’re just eating some bread and meat. Don’t fuck around and forget that sauce!

  2. I have the absolute pleasure of living right down the street from this place. I freaking love it and the coffee is my crack. Friendly service, great food, coffee that kicks serious ass. And they are even nice to me when I come in in my White Sox gear. Also, sounds strange but dont’ forget to try the burger- ROCKS!

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