Cow vs. Chicken @ Big Jones

When Big Jones first opened in 2008, the Gluttons crew opinions were split. Darwensi’s post, Big Jones or Big Johnson, spawned some internal controversy which was foolishly resolved in a friendship-jeopardizing match of roshambo. But time moves forward, people change and so do restaurants. (except for M.Henry which still has the exact same menu from when G.W. Bush was president, up your game hippies.) And the questionable caterpillar that once was Big Jones has blossomed into a fat-ass, deep-fried in country lard, Butterfly.

There are two items, that stick out as the crème de la crème on the Big Jones menu. Every time I roll up into Big Jizzles (nickname in progress) I’m forced to make this impossible decision.

Fried Chicken Sandwich vs. Pimento Cheeseburger, it’s the Sophie’s Choice of sandwich selection.

Let’s start with the crowd favorite, the Pimento Cheese Burger:

This motherfucker is a greasy pile of griddled onions, two fresh ground patties, and a freaking ice cream scoop of pimento cheese.  All of this is tucked into a super-soft STEAMED bun.  Every ingredient is stellar on it’s own, there is no weak link.  While it might look like a fork-and-knife burger, this pile-of-happy dances the line on manageability.  Don’t fuck around and use your hands.

Photo courtesy of bigjoneschicago.com.  Angioplasty courtesy of Swedish Covenant Hospital.

Now for the underdog, the Fried Chicken Sandwich:

This little guy is comprised of deep fried, battered chicken thigh.  (DARK MEAT!) A thick coating of  homemade mayo, southern chow chow (a  re-donk pickled relish), and a sheet of useless baby lettuce.  If there wasn’t mayo on the lettuce, I’d recommend sliding it out and throwing it over your shoulder.  The bun is the same as the burger and honestly, I’d eat a converse all-star if it was nestled between this bad boy.

The chicken is perfectly fried and the breading cock-slaps you with flavor. If the Colonel has 11 herbs and spices, this bitch is running on at least 20.

So who’s the winner?  If you only had one meal which should you get?  That’s a tough decision . . .

I’m going to give the slightest edge to the fried chicken sandwich.  I mean, we’re talking nano-meters here.  I could easily call it differently tomorrow.  Ideally, what you should do, is roll up with a friend and ‘negotiate a trade agreement.’  Going halfsies on these two masterpeices will guarantee one of the greatest 1000+ calorie lunch experiences you can get in Andersonville.  Don’t sleep, get that shit.